31 May 2016

MAKE ROOM FOR BABY #3



Oh baby! I am so excited to share the news of my expanding family with you! As a little girl I often dreamt of being an awesome mother. I knew exactly how I wanted to parent and shower my future kiddos with boundless love. Becoming a mother wasn't my only aspiration but the position of motherhood rated very high on my growing list of things to do when I reached adulthood. Many, many things attributed to my strong desire to parent.

So, obvious enough my first born, a nine pound bouncing baby boy gave me my first shot at motherhood. Thrilled enough in my new role as mommy two years later, we decided adding another would be a great addition. Our sweet baby girl was born exactly three years after I became a mother for the first time. Totally thrilled my life was set as a mother to a boy and a girl. I felt like we literally hit the baby jackpot of all lotteries with one of each. I still feel this way actually!

Still very much into my twenties, I had a few other task to tackle on my list of life goals. In other words I was highly content with our equally balanced family of four...BUT... I never elected to tie my tubes. I simply was not ready to say good bye to my fertility. In fact, moments after I delivered my daughter my Doctor  reminded me that he could conveniently tie my tubes. Every mom knows that the moments after birth are filled with an instant flood of emotions, a bit of a daze, exhaustion and any other feeling you can throw in there. However, I became completely conscious when the doc mentioned tying my tubes. I very adamantly responded no!
Although I had no intention of having another baby anytime soon I was not willing to let go of my fertility. I felt complete with my family and revisited the notion of adding a third several times but I truly was complete. My hubby on the other hand has always wanted that whole chaotic full house lifestyle. The thought of the demands on me scared everything in me. EVERYTHING!

So fast forward to a few years of juggling this whole mom life pretty well. I was still content but as we all know the heart wants what it wants and I knew deep inside that the hubby would be thrilled with another. Don't get me wrong he was content with our two as well but I couldn't help but to wonder if maybe I was depriving his wants as well. We as women are quick to make the decisions because we carry the load of the initial growth of the family through childbirth. However, if we challenge ourselves to think a little further a man cannot have a biological baby without a woman. Just as we cannot have a biological baby without a man but we as women do have options to have a child "without the man."  Lets just be real there aren't any womb banks on any corner of any street whereas there are sperm banks!

Fact is fertility isn't forever and as the years rolled by my views about becoming a mother again changed. I began to become less fearful of parenting a third baby. Funny enough, the ages of my first two is what actually led me to feeling confident about mothering again. Determining the age gaps between children is truly a parental decision. As for me, I know whole heartedly that I could not hold it all together with a scenario of  lets say three under six. I seriously couldn't. I personally think that it's important that we as parents keep it real with ourselves regarding how many we can handle in addition to the ages of the children.

So with all of that being said, no this baby was not a surprise in the manner that many assume. I am surprised to be expecting again after being a family of four for so long. Truth is, this little baby girl is the work of her mommy and daddy realizing that we don't want any what ifs later on in life. Thus there honestly weren't many precautionary efforts in place. So we decided to tell the kiddos at the most magical place on earth. At Disney World during their spring break! Their response was so awesome.

We had our first two young enough to become parents again this many years later. I've met quite a few thirty something first time moms the same age as I am.We should keep in mind that when we see children very close in age or a huge age gap that the parents may have chosen life that way!





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